The Groom's Guide
Today’s modern groom wants to do more than just to turn up to the wedding, he wants to help plan and be a part of it.
Tradition calls for the groom to be responsible for his clothes, the wedding rings, transport, gifts for the attendants and the honeymoon. Some tips for the groom in the know….
Offer to help with the wedding planning and organisation. Get organised as early as possible and get your responsibilities out of the way as soon as you can...your bride will love you the more for it!
The Diplomat
One of the groom’s most important roles is to keep the peace and maintain communication between both families. Make sure small disagreements (such as who is included in the guest list) are smoothed over quickly. A little charisma towards your mother-in law will go a long way in your married life!.
However, the most important person to be listening to is your bride. You should be her right hand man, her strength when problems arise and just someone there to listen to her ideas and suggestions - this is your wedding day too, and your input is important.
Choosing Your Best Man
This is the only major task that a groom is solely responsible for in the wedding process and for which a good decision is crucial. Your best man is a reflection of your judgement, your background and your character, so picking the mate that makes you laugh most is fine, as long as he is also responsible and able to perform his duties appropriately on the day. It is becoming increasingly popular for the groom to pick more than one best man (particularly when it is difficult to decide between 2 worthy candidates).
If you know who your best man is going to be, that's great. But if you are unsure, don't let the decision process drag out too long. Finalise your choice of best man early and tell them as soon as possible. Let anyone who might be upset by your choice know before word gets out and give them good reasons why you have made the choice you have.
To help choose the best man for you, ask yourself the following questions...
• Will his appointment upset the bride in any way?
• Can you be sure that he is available prior to the wedding as well as for the actual day?
• Does he posses the enthusiasm and organisational skills to take on such a role?
• Is he quick-witted and resourceful enough to deal with any emergencies that may crop up?
• Is he eager and happy to accept the role or doing so out of a sense of obligation?
• Can he be relied on to safeguard and remember the ring?
• Can he be trusted to make that all-important speech without embarrassment?
Choose your ushers early and make sure you divide up the jobs equally and according to their strengths. You can use our free Reminders to help you with all the little jobs that need to be done.
The Wedding Guest List
Putting together a wedding guest list without upsetting at least a dozen people is a potential minefield that every couple approaches with some apprehension. Not everyone you know will ‘fit’ into the style of your wedding, will get on with your new family, your family or other friends. It’s a good idea to exclude anyone who has potential of being unsuitable.
The key is to avoid conflict between yourself, your bride and your family, no matter what the cost. You will all have to compromise and if you do, then the pain of leaving out a long time cricket mate or work colleague here or there will be much easier.
The Wedding Gifts
This is where you get to make sure that your new home is well stocked with a new bar set, a great coffee machine and the ultimate barbeque. A polite, open wedding invitation that references an on-line wedding registry (listing a wide ranging selection of gifts and prices) is the best option.
What if your bride’s sweet grandmother decides to bypass the guest list and knit you a throw-rug?. Next time she visits, she’ll be looking for it, primely positioned on your contemporary white leather sofa. Requesting wedding gift vouchers to your favourite store, will give you total choice of how to spend them and avoiding gift double-ups or those potential social blunders that can come back to haunt you if a gift list is not managed.
Use our free Gift Log to help you manage all your gifts and make the ‘thankyou’s’ process a breeze!
The latest trend in wedding gift registries, particularly for those couples who have everything, is to set up a honeymoon registry with a travel agent to go towards their perfect Caribbean honeymoon.
Your Wedding Attire
This is the most hassle-free part of the wedding. Selecting your attire for the biggest public occasion of your life is an important, yet enjoyable task as today's man also likes to shop and look his best.
Don't leave choosing your wedding attire until the last minute and ensure that the colours of the best man and ushers compliment your suit and each others. It’s a long day, so choose something that you will be comfortable with for the ceremony, cake-cutting, photograph-posing and speech-making. Your bride will also want to have a say in how the main men at her wedding look and be there for the final selections.
Don’t forget to get a manicure the day before your wedding, many wedding photographers take snaps of the bride and grooms hands and wedding rings.
Make sure you look better than every other man there. Consider joining a gym or exchanging the pub for the pool to get into great shape. You want to look your finest for that all-important wedding album you'll pull out to show your family and friends in years to come.
Your Wedding Speech
Prepare and practice so that you don’t look nervous on your wedding day. Practice makes perfect!
Your Wedding Transport
Enjoy researching transport for the wedding party, to and from the ceremony and to the wedding reception. Consider arranging something special as a surprise for your bride.
Sample Wedding Day Schedule
Not sure about your wedding day schedule…some tips for when to be where, what to do and what to expect.Morning
Grab yourself a healthy breakfast and pace yourself with the coffee or you could end up jittery all day. Finish last-minute wedding details, such as picking up any alterations to your suit or tux, getting a manicure, making sure your wedding-day gift for your bride is wrapped etc.
Don’t shave just yet; get a clean shave just before the ceremony.
Go for a quick run, walk around the block or go for a swim with your groomsmen to calm any nerves. Don’t be too competitive with the boys though, as you don’t want to be injured on your wedding day.
Call your bride and tell her how much you love and miss her and how you can’t wait to make you’re your wife. Ask her if there is anything you can do to help. If you can’t help, perhaps your brothers, father, and groomsmen can.
Afternoon
Meet your groomsmen for a light lunch…don’t overeat or that belt may not sit quite right and avoid drinking any alcohol just yet.
Get spruced up!. Take a shower, have a shave, fix your hair, apply your deodorant and put on your best aftershave.
If you're taking pre-wedding photographs, gather your groomsmen and ushers and leave for the ceremony location, or meet them there.
Make sure you allow yourself plenty of travel time and DON’T FORGET THE WEDDING RINGS!
When you arrive at the ceremony location, make sure your groomsmen and ushers know what they need to do such as seating guests etc. Give the officiate fee to your best man (to hand to the officiate after the wedding ceremony).
Briefly meet with your officiate. Ask your groomsmen to help guests get seated as soon as possible.
Wedding Ceremony
Take your place at the front of the aisle with your best man and your officiate or be ready to walk down the aisle with your parents.
The officiate walks down the aisle (unless he or she is already at the head front of the aisle), followed (in succession) by the flower girl, ring boy, attendants, and finally the bride, accompanied by her father or both of her parents.
At the altar, stands on the right side of your bride.
After the ceremony is over, sign the marriage license and have your attendants sign as witnesses.
If you're having a receiving line, stand between your bride and your new father-in-law.
Have your wedding photographs taken at your pre-selected location/s and refresh yourselves before the reception.
Wedding Reception
The hard part is over – make your entrance as husband and wife and take the time to really enjoy your party, you will remember this day for the rest of your life.
